My Annoying Mother!
So I found out why mom wanted me to help with the grocery shopping the other day! It turns out there is a new cashier at the supermarket who she is trying to set me up with!!
The whole walk to the store she was acting very weird, she kept asking if I had brushed my teeth and straightening my jacket and brushing dust off it. And when I asked her why she was doing those things she just smiled and said "it's nothing, boobums, you're just such a handsome boy". So we get to the store and all of a sudden she keeps pretending not to know where things are and keeps saying "Oh, be a dear, I can't see the garlic anywhere, go ask that young lady over there", and I was like "mom, we are standing right in front of the garlic, you are holding some in your hands right now," and she just smiles and says "no, boobums, it's nothing, you're just such a personable boy, go talk to the nice girl." unbelievable!!!
Eventually I had no choice but to talk to her because mom picked her checkout line to stand in, even though it was the longest line in the whole place! There were about five other guys with their mothers in front of us and they were all taking forever! So we stand there for a long time and when we get to the register finally I'm trying to act all cool about it but my mother says "this is my son, Emile, he's very personable and an important sociologist at the university". I was like thanks mom, how embarrassing. And then the girl just looks at me and goes "sociologist? You mean like that Max Weber guy?" Imagine! I just coughed loudly and told mom I would wait outside. I think she was quite angry that I didn't give her more of a chance, she didn't say a word to me the whole way home, and made me carry all the groceries except the baguette which she used to hit me with every few minutes.
Parents!